Ephesians 5:22-28
(22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
(23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
(24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
(25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
(26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
(27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
(28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Our text is Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it
Before we look any more deeply at this statement, let's look and who Christ was and what he did for us.
Who was Christ?
Christ existed before the formation of the world.
John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
In this verse, 'the Word' is Christ. In the beginning was Christ. Christ existed before anything else. Incidentally, I like to use that verse when I run into someone that holds that Christ is not God. '...and the Word was God.' seems pretty clear to me.
John 17:24 Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.
Did you hear that? Christ existed long before the formation of the world.
Christ knew the future, and knew His future
Matthew 16:21 From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.
Christ knew beforehand his fate - that he would suffer, and die, be buried, and rise again.
So we can clearly see that Christ existed before the world began, and knew in advance the terrible destiny that awaited him. How much love would that take, knowing what he knew, to not just refuse? He did what he did out of love; the greatest love the world has ever known.
God's Command
Back to our text:
Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it
Husbands, we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church. I doubt that we are even capable of that level of love, but that's not what we're here to discuss. Let's talk about what that kind of love means.
Selfless Love
If we love our wives 'as Christ loved the church', there should be nothing that we won't do for her. What's important to her will be the most important thing for us. We're going to try and make sure that she has everything that we can for her.
Let's imagine that you get a bonus at work. Your boss sends home an extra $1000 that you weren't expecting. You're thinking about that nice big TV that you've been wanting, aren't you? When you get home and spring the big news, she mentions the new couch that she's been wanting...
If you can make God's command a part of your being, if you truly love your wife as Christ loved the church, this won't be a hard decision. it really won't. Trust me. But it is only easy if you feel God's command in your heart and live it.
I watched a young couple the other day bickering about a restaurant. They had decided to go out, and were involved in a discussion about where to go. He wanted restaurant A, and she wanted restaurant B. He suggested restaurant C, and she didn't like that one, so she suggested restaurant D. This went on in this vein for quite a while.
I elbowed my wife, who was listening too, and remarked that we often had that argument too, but in reverse. When we decided to go out, I'd ask her where she wanted to go; she'd ask me where I wanted to go. We'd argue about making the other one happy. Isn't that a better argument?
Wives
(22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ouch. Is this a sensitive subject? It shouldn't be. But that's why we covered 5:25 first. The husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church, his wants desperately for her to be happy. Now, it's not possible for two people to spend a lifetime together and completely agree on every subject, right? When this subject comes up, God tells us that the husband has been assigned to be the mediator. In the case of our restaurant argument, God tells me that I have to be the one to decide. So I do. We're going to Longhorn, her favorite restaurant.
Finally
Some years ago my wife and I took a cruise, and we discovered that they have all kinds of shows for entertainment. On that we liked was a sort of 'Newlywed Game'. They found a couple that had just been married, and a couple that had been married a long time, and a third couple that was in the 20 year range. They asked them all kinds of relationship questions with predictable results. In the end the MC interviewed the senior couple and asked them the secret of their long marriage. The husband said that he was careful to 'do what he was told'. The wife said that she took great joy in taking care of her husband. After the show my wife and I were talking about that, we agree that both of them had pretty much said the same thing. They loved the other more than themselves.
God's word has the recipe for a great marriage. A relationship where both people are more concerned about the other's happiness than their own. Where one person loves the other more than himself. That's an easy thing to say, and many of us flippantly throw that out. But is it true? Do you practice it? When it's 8PM and it's time to watch her cooking show or your Football game... what's going to happen?